5 ways to open communication

Welcome to the Markeisha Hall podcast. I'm your host Markeisha Hall IAPM parenting coach, and happy new year, it's been quite the 2021, I think you would agree, man, we're ready to get into 20. So we're gonna start off by talking about communication with your kids. And the some of these tips you can also use for your IEP team. So, communication in any relationship is really important and sometimes easily overlooked, especially with kids. With all the responsibilities as we have have as adults, sometimes we just want them to do what we want them to do. And we have to realize that they're little people to younger people to not just a little people. But in the case, if your child has a disability, and their communication is, they're still working on their communication, we still need to model what that looks like for them so that they can best be able to communicate when they become adults. So because our children learn from us, the way we communicate to and around them is really important. Practicing good Kumi communication creates a deeper bond with your child relationships, and it grows their self esteem and models healthy communication practices to them. So making an effort to practice healthy, open communication with your child validates or corrects our ideas and reinforces their self worth. Being highly communicative with community, the kid to live with your child is a way to show them, you love them, and really in your relationship with your child, no matter their mode of communication. So here are some best practices of highly communicative communication. Why can I say this, guys? You know what I'm trying to say? Parents. One sincerely listen. Sometimes it's easy for us to wander our minds to wander with all the things that we have to do. And we just want to tell our kids how to think. But if you want to show respect for them as a person, and open the lines of communication, we've got to listen with sincerity, sincerity and empathy. So show interest in what your child says give them space to share their thoughts without fears of being judged or shamed or brushed aside. Also, listen without judgment. Instead of insisting your child adopt your own ways of thinking, listen to your child with empathy and openness. The last part of this number one is to be present. Commit to being fully present for your child instead of turning your attention towards your mobile device or the television. And I was guilty of that. But we did start a rule in our house. When they do come to me and talk to me, I just put put my phone actually put it down, mute the television if you're doing something. So we're all guilty of that. Just be mindful of it. To ask open ended questions, don't give them without just to say yes or no. Encourage your child to think critically and process their ideas by asking open ended questions. By asking open ended questions. You show your child that you're curious about the way they think and encourage them to share more. For example, can you tell me more about that? How does that make you feel? And what do you think about the topic? One thing that we do when we talk to the kids about their days at school, we don't say did you have a good day? Because they were like, Yeah, or no? We will, we'll be more specific and be like, What did you do in second period? Yeah, that makes them have to think and talk to us more? Or what is the story that you read? during circle time, like for example, if they're younger, like Josiah. So number three, honestly share your feelings and ideas. Even with your child, the relationship is not one sided, as they develop, share your honest, your own honest feelings and ideas with them. It's actually model modeling for them, what that looks like. So when you're frustrated, sometimes we tend to not want to, you know, show them like go to our room and or talk to a girlfriend, but it's really important for our kids, especially our kids with disabilities to model what that looks like and talk out, talk out how you're feeling when you're frustrated, and then show what you can do to not be frustrated if that makes any sense. So they they have a model of what that looks like. For make time for regular informal family check ins were never used. Whether you're working a stay at home mom or dad, we're working outside the home or you're working in the home, it's all work. And especially when you're raising a family, our lives are so busy, it's important to take time to create the time to talk and check in with your child. So you can make space for them to feel open. So just starts by simple scheduling a check in maybe everyday dinner, or breakfast or something that can be consistent. And just commit to following through with check ins, even on the challenging days. And we know that those days come often right, we're still want to follow up and show consistency, that we're committed to communicating their feelings and that they can process those difficult feelings and emotions with us as their parents. Lastly, handle conflict gently and carefully. Open communication is the foundation of healthy conflict management, right? Problems are going to arise. And we want to show them that conflict doesn't have to be something that's negative or feared. Children learn from the way we model conflict management. And as their parent, it's important for you to do your best to set a positive example for handling excuse me handling conflicts. So what do you do start the conversation with them. When your child is angry or bother, they may not have the tools to openly talk about how they feel. If you notice they're holding something back, start the conversation. This prevents them from feeling guilty for starting a difficult conversation. Maintain a respectful tone. When your child is angry, they may say something hurtful or offensive. Alternatively, you might feel impatient with the way they deal with their anger. And I know that means look, broken iPads, right? Those are expensive. And I'm speaking from personal experience because we have to actually replace one because we had a broken iPad incident. But it's still important to maintain a respectful tone. So they feel comfortable handling conflict in the future. They're really going to be modeling what we do when a situation like that happens. And then try to at whatever level they're at solve the problem together. Empower your child to help you solve the problem. Show them how they are in control of their actions in the problem doesn't have to be it doesn't have to happen in the same way in the future. Look, parents is not an easy task. But the work you do to create a space to communicate openly with your child will help their social and emotional development. At the end of the day, going through the challenging task of communicating, even when it's hard shows how much you love your child. giving them space to share their feelings. Giving them gives them a space to process their emotions. You can teach them how to share their emotions in healthy ways, at the same time building a tighter bond with them. And with that, I'm going to release your ears from this episode of the podcast. I hope everyone's having a good start to the new year. And I'll see you on the next episode. Bye bye Thank you again for listening to the Markeisha Hall podcast. And have a great day.