Unknown Speaker 0:01
Hi, everyone, and thank you for listening to the Markeisha Hall podcast. I am Markeisha Hall, your host IEP and parenting coach. And I'm here with Julie. Whoo. We taught together and special education preschool? I don't know. Seems like yesterday, but it was. Yeah. Yeah, no. And she is now ventured off into another sector of education, education, and I'm gonna let her introduce herself. Well, hello
Unknown Speaker 0:37
there, and thank you so much for having me. And oh, my goodness, first of all, markeesha is amazing. And I honestly would not be this person doing this job without all of the amazing people that I encountered in, in the school setting. markeesha been a big one. A lot of how I work with my clients come from, you know, the modeling that that I was so lucky to have in the classroom. So
Unknown Speaker 1:15
you, you brought a lot to it, you brought a lot to the table. I always say that.
Unknown Speaker 1:19
You remember that first day, though? You don't remember that first day that I thought I got pumped, because I knew like substitute teacher decided to, you know, become an aide transferred schools. They're like, hey, yeah, we have, you know, an opening in March severe. I'm like, Alright, what's, what's month appears? I walk in there. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, you don't? You don't mean me? Because no, this is a wheelchair. I don't know what to do. student with a feeding tube? I don't know. Are you sure you want me? I'm a parent, but I don't know how to do this. It's fine. They're just like any other skin like, you and Maria were like, it's going to be okay. I'm like, No, it's not like that. But so yes, I, I came a long way from that first day. And, you know, I absolutely love my job. I love working with our kiddos. And now I get to do it in the best possible scenario, which is, you know, one on one with them in the home setting as an RVT and an RVT. For those who don't know, that registered behavior technician. So when you sign up for ABA, and normally how it works in our company, in most companies, is that's run through your insurance. And many of the insurance companies require that certification. So this is not just a county thing, or a state thing, even this is a national certification, that guarantees pretty much that these services are going to be delivered in the same manner across the country, so that we're all on the same page. Right. And so, you know, most insurances do require that I know that there's a lot of technicians now that maybe are not certified now. But you know, the longer that you do work in the ABA field, that that does become a necessity. So when you're looking for an RVT, or a behavior technician, it is helpful to have somebody who already does have that certification. I actually just got my certification last September, and I studied a lot. And you know, I have 15 years of experience. So there is a lot of information, a lot of science, a lot of data driven things that that we are doing that may seem at the forefront, like oh, we're just playing we're just having a conversation but in reality where we're taking data, we're contriving situations. So anyway, so that is what I'm doing nowadays. And I love it. And markeesha And I have been talking about all the all that we that we extend that we build on we practice the skills that should most likely be in there. I T homesteading because as you know the homesteading really different. Right? Big shock to me coming into a homesteading? At first. You know Aye aye, I was very naive thinking I was going to bring in my token economy and oh no, they're not going to get a snack until you know that no, they're in their own home, yes, that that is not going to work like that. And you know, the other thing is the relationship with that person because I I'm in their home four hours a day, guys, four hours is a long time. That means that we we got to be on the same page, we have to get along, I have to, I have to trust them. And they have to trust me.
Unknown Speaker 6:05
That takes quite a while. So you know, I I get the like, the whole first impression thing with therapists coming in, you're like, oh, that's just not gonna work. But I, I myself can speak to that situation, because there was a lot of times where I'm calling my supervisor going, Oh, no, yes. Knable this child, I spent all this time trying to do this. And they're like, we're gonna be okay. Right. But that is a there is a huge piece of being in somebody's environment. And then respecting what I do in in turn me respecting their space, their house, their rules, their culture, their whatever that is. I'm I'm the outsiders. So you know, that does? It. There's a lot of I think that at the beginning, before, you can go, Yeah, this isn't for me. It may not be the therapist, it may not be the techniques, but just, you know, advocating for the child's needs. And sometimes, you know, as you can speak to in the school setting, parents are, first of all overwhelmed. I would not be in their house if the behavior was stellar. Start there. So first of all, that's that's about letting go of things that you thought as a parent, right? Especially with, you know, your child that has autism, doesn't matter what the degree of it is. Parenting is difficult. Yeah. Go there. I don't care what, what you've got going on. But
Unknown Speaker 8:16
experience she also is a mother. Kids, she has also raised children. So
Unknown Speaker 8:22
yeah. And and they're grown adults with, you know, responsible, were responsible citizens and and all of that, but like, yes, that, that I think that is a big thing, too, for parents to kind of get over this obstacle of, sometimes depending on the age of the child, they're still in denial. Is this really what we're going to have to deal with the face if they never did this before, and now all of a sudden, there's these constant meltdowns, and meltdowns affect everyone in your house? Not the child, not just the caregiver, everyone, the siblings, that grandparents, everything and, and it's hard, it's emotional. For the parents, and it's, it's hard to get past those obstacles and think, I don't even know what this person is doing. Are they going to help me and believe me, I've sat on the other side of that couch and listen to these parents just going I don't know what to do. Whatever you're doing isn't working when you're when you leave, and then leave and I don't know else to do. And they're there at the end of this rope. And so
Unknown Speaker 9:54
is this but I'd love that said relationship building because it's very vulnerable. Um, now that I'm speaking on the other side of it, Josiah did do early intervention, early intervention is come, come to the house. And at first I was like, I don't, oh, you know, I really I am an early intervention. I have my masters in this. Yes. But it's, it's so vulnerable. Even though I know the benefit of it, I definitely believe in what I do. And I was like, well, I already know this stuff. But it's different when it's your kid, because you can only take the meltdown. So because then it's your baby. And then you're like, you know what, I'm just, you just gonna get the Cheerios because I can't hear him say Cheerio. Cheerio, cheerio, cheerio, and just start perseverating on something, I get to the baseball game, Oh, I'm getting choked up just remembering this. It's a very vulnerable spot to have someone come into your home. And it's a relationship that has to be built and worked on. It's just like, when you first become you first meet someone, you hit it off with some people right away. But some people you're like, a few lunches. And then you find your groove. And it's the same way. And it's about just being open and honest. And understanding where both people are coming from parents feel very vulnerable, you're in my home, you know, you're going to see like my boys, or sometimes just I would be doing sessions and the boys would be upstairs wrestling, you know, screaming at each other. Dre would come home in the middle of a session from work, and then that would throw Josiah off. And then it was just like, you know, there's just lots of things going on, because it is your home. So being if you're going in as a therapist being in, if you're going in as a parent, which were pretty much talking to you just just establishing those things and letting some of those things go, you just have to let it go. Are you just gonna be you're not gonna be able to get what you need from that, or even see if it is a good fit, because sometimes it's not a good fit. But we won't be able to see that because you're always just trying to be like dinner's ready. You know, all the things that you uh, yeah, I don't want them to go and be like, Oh, my gosh, I was over Markeisha Saul's she, her and her husband are special education teachers. But let me tell you what, the house was a mess. Your house? It happens sometimes. And you have to just let happen
Unknown Speaker 12:34
all the time. Yes. What are you doing with here? You're dealing with your your child who's having issues with behavior? So is that the first thing on your mind? No, no, it's not. And and to be honest, you know, what, what I'm thinking and what I'm looking at when you're talking about like the the interruptions and the things that aren't going according to the perfection, what model whatever it is, I want to see these things might want to see the meltdowns. How am I going to help you? How am I going to know what triggers that? And and that, I'm sorry, that that takes a while too, because that child has to feel comfortable with that a lot of the time. My client right now did not have a full on breakdown until I would probably say three months. Three months of me coming four hours every day, five days a week before he felt. And you know, of course, he didn't do this at school either. Right? Is somebody who, who expects I don't know what, that he did not feel comfortable. And, and so it's it makes my job even more difficult. If I don't know these things, right? What what are the triggers? What, what is the rhythm of your house? So that we can work on that? Right? Right? It's not going to do you any good? If, if this is a sterile environment. And you know, that's the the other thing, my experience now as an RVT has only been in the home setting. There's a lot of companies that also have a clinic, okay. They do their sessions out of the clinics to out of the home. It depends on the on the company, my company only does home visits. So that's what I know. But I can imagine Yes, my job would be easier if my client came in and my my room was all set up with all the toys and yes, that that would be an easy session,
Unknown Speaker 14:54
right? Yes,
Unknown Speaker 15:00
How many times Marty should did we say, What? Is this the same kid that they saw on the on the home visit? Because there's not the same kid that's sitting here in this class. We're doing what? Right? They just take into account both settings because it's, it's the same kid, but they're gonna behave differently. At home.
Unknown Speaker 15:25
Many times, we're like, talk to the parents. And they were like, Oh, he's singing, it's circle time. And he's just doing all the things. They're like, looking at us like, well, when we got home? Yeah, we're like, knowing there's just no way. i There's no way. And then they were like, yeah, it is. That's how it's different at home. And I know that to be true now. Because, yes. Because my baby and I was like, it's just a controlled environment, more controlled environment. And then we're, you know, and then we're done. But when you're at home, you're not done.
Unknown Speaker 16:00
You're not done. And, and like all of us adults, you know, we put on our best face, we put on our best face when we talk on the phone, even you know that. Yeah, of course, we're doing this. Oh, yeah. All the time, or I'm in the closet. Kids, kids do the same thing. And especially kids that have that can't explicitly read cues. They don't understand, you know, that's okay to, you know, whatever it is at school that's bothering them. It's okay to say that or it's okay to ask for help. All of these things. And also, you know, the situation with my client at school, you know, he he had held in this, the meltdown thing, lots of times it didn't even last until they got home. You get in a car. And it Yeah, Katie bar the door. But the fee staff at school didn't even know. Until one day when this meltdown happened. They call mom she says yes. You know, he that's part of his autism. They're like what autism Alrighty then. There is a lot of there's a lot of our kiddos energetics study. These we've been gone, guys, we've been gone two years back and forth virtual whatever, you are out sick. You haven't necessarily read the the IEP, right? They don't know, because they have not seen this behavior at school. Yep. Haven't seen it doesn't exist. Yeah. So that that is the other thing. We don't want that happening. We don't want situations, either setting. Right, you know, not indicative of this kid? Because how's the school going to help? How am I going to help? So yes,
Unknown Speaker 18:17
yes, it is. It is different it across different settings. And that's why it's so important to Well, when I was in the classroom working on whether it's in the classroom, giving that all the information that's going on there, because if it doesn't, if you can't go to target, who cares that they could, that they didn't have a problem, like we work on transitions a lot. When we were in preschool, I was like, Hey, I wasn't raised goals transitioning from one activity to another. So if I'm like, oh, yeah, I can transition from circle time to thing, they can transition and it's fine, but you can't as parent and you have other kids, you can't go to Target or to church or to the part then it's not meaningful for the family, which it should be meaningful for the family it should be able to translate into your everyday life. That's really what it's the purpose is more of the IEP is to practice those things in the school. But for them to be transferred to the home. And so that's why I like about you going into the home or having in home services because then you get to get to see I mean, I have very good friends that they were my students prior. But we are good friends now. I actually have a picture of him. My little Isaiah downstairs because but I when his mom told me and we knew each other as we went to church before church together. I never thought about yep, I never seen a girl. Rip he never mailed until I went out with them. because then we became friends. And we went out on a I wouldn't say it was an autism walk something, something, some kind of fundraiser or autism walk. And I was eyes wide open. Because I had never seen it in the classroom. He'd never had it. And we were on that walk, and he melted down. And I was like, then she was, she was looking at me, like I told you, and I was like, okay, that's when I realized like this, she's like, this is what we have to do outside of the classroom. And then it just really started to click even more that this is what's important is can you go to whatever your family culture is, like, some people like to stay home, but like, for us, we travel a lot, it's important for him to get these skills, so that we can go to his sibling, the siblings are in sports a lot.
Unknown Speaker 20:55
Right? And you know what, that's part of my job, too. And a lot of times, I will be going out in the community now, you know, with
Unknown Speaker 21:06
I mean, I know that, but tell them about that.
Unknown Speaker 21:10
See, yes, there's, there's been, we, for a lot of Fridays, during the summer, we would go to the park. And Ark is a good place, because it's still kind of a neutral thing. There's not too many expectations there. But yet, it's working on those transitions, skills, like, Okay, it's time for you all done playing, it's time to go home, we have five more minutes, all those types of things in a different study. He my clients played sports, and I would go to his his game, because I want to see how he's behaving in in a different setting. You know, not school, not home, someplace, kind of not neutral. But you know,
Unknown Speaker 21:57
when you're out and home in your house, you still get to see that thing, but it's still like a consumer, like they can still go to their room. Oh, yeah. Comfort, but when it's out, you can't control it. The people that you don't know, you don't know what they might say to trigger them or something that might or a sound or a smell or Yeah, so
Unknown Speaker 22:15
that and you know, when we're talking about behavior in setting, there's also behavior with different people. And so, you know, even in the home setting, there's there's usually a good cop and bad cop, right? I'm always a bad cop. But you know, there's there's either a sibling or another parent, right? Another relative. That's, that's in there that maybe when there's the first sign of struggle, and you hear that Telltale grunt or scream or whatever that is that goes, oh, a meltdowns on the way. Like, let's just give it to him. I don't want to deal with it today. There you go. Right. Oh, you've got one parent, where are they? They're, they're being reinforced their behaviors, and then one parent that's trying to unravel all the all the things that have contributed to the behaviors so that sometimes there's, there's a lot of money has. It's hard, it's emotional. It is, it doesn't look the same for everybody. And, uh, you know, it's rough that way. It's rough when, let's say there's a teacher who not very on it. And they know they can get away with it. Yes, no, our kiddos are smart. They sense. In fact, I think they sense a lot more than we developed kids. Honest. They're intuitive. So they know they can get away with that with that teacher, or that whomever Yes, we don't want that we want to be able to generalize these skills to everyone. I don't care if you're gonna reinforce the behavior or not. That that skill needs to to happen, regardless. Eventually, yes. Actually, that takes it takes a while.
Unknown Speaker 24:26
Yes. Yes. And then, and then I know that there's like, behaviors. I like, Oh, we're on top of this and then comes a different one
Unknown Speaker 24:37
morphs into something else. It's like, okay, well, that's new, right. Stop doing that,
Unknown Speaker 24:46
you know, I know over the pandemic for us. There. We saw some behaviors that we did not that were when he was 234 that we just had unseen until the pandemic, and we're like, oh, that's back. We had checked that off the goals list that was checked off two years ago. It's back. Because, you know, who knows what triggered it to tell you the truth, but Right, like, we thought we had stopped here pulling, that was his thing that had came back, which is very, you know, we patches of hair, missy, came back during the pandemic, because he definitely was stressed that did not work out well for him. But just because he ever does go away doesn't mean that it can't come come back and need to be reworked on it in a different way. It's not like oh, my gosh, Robert, my therapist, it didn't work, because it came back, it can come back and just think when you're stressed, like, like, you know what to cope with. But if your stress is too high, then you're like, you can fall back into like, what, you know, that worked. Like, even though you know, the skills, like he knows what to do, what to do it, but when he got to his 10, then he went back to what was
Unknown Speaker 26:11
easiest, we have default mode. Yes. mode, that's good. And, and it takes, it takes a lot of practice and time. And, you know, I would say to like, yes, there are these behaviors, but that that does not signal regression, it doesn't signal lack of anything on the child's part, or on the therapists part, because these things are fluid. And what what I noticed is like, you know, we'll, we're on a, we're in a streak right now, and I'm like, I love it, but what's coming up, because there was a big chunk of time, where there were meltdowns every session every day, every week. And, and the parents are like, I can't do this anymore. I cannot. And I cannot have him a loping every time. You know, whatever. And that was hard. It's hard. It's super hard. It's super stressful. And, and, and there, I would, I would say what worked for us was taking a step back, maybe taking not a break, because we don't want the the avoidance, right. So those four, four functions of behavior, there's, there's more of them escape being a big one, we don't want them to think they've escaped that. But we zoomed, we zoomed for the majority of the session, cut down on the in person for a little while, gradually, gradually it got better. But again, there there are these may either the right after progress or right before progress. And in the rough. Yeah, very rough in so we kind of got to take the behaviors with, right? Yes, how I continue on.
Unknown Speaker 28:34
Because that is a good word to think that it's, there's just ebbs and flows. And I think the expectation, or your want as a parent is that I want my child to be happy, really, that's the end of it. At the end of the day, it's like I want them to behave, or I want them to do what I want. It's really I want my kid to be happy, and to be able to enjoy his sibling, or, you know, hang out at the park and just have friends. That's really at the bottom of it. So it's really like, I want this fixed. And I don't and once it sticks, I wanted to stay fixed and that even warrants again, neurotypical child, that's not the case. Right? It's not the case,
Unknown Speaker 29:23
not the case. And we didn't just start giving it.
Unknown Speaker 29:29
We've been doing this for years, and now you're just being more defiant or we can talk with your neurotypical kids like where did this come from? Like you've always been so amicable. Now, they're just not it's just with kids in general, but it's especially a child that has a disability because you're like, I want to I want to fix it because there are so many obstacles. I want to fix it and then when you feel like you Can't then it's just, you know, or that it was and then you're like, Yay, they're doing and then you feel like it goes down instead of thinking like, oh my gosh, I am doing something wrong. Right? It was fixed. I'm not doing what God taught me, because it was fixed. So we stopped doing that. And we start working on this, and now it's broken. And it's my fault that we're here. And you do have to
Unknown Speaker 30:23
might? Or was that I think, I think there's this misconception that, you know, I have some sort of magic wand or set of solutions to XYZ. And yes, we have interventions, and we have strategies. And we have, you know, the first thing we're going to do is figure out what function of that behavior and then try and replace it with something, you know, positive, but I don't, I don't mean either. And we're just have to throw stuff at this, whatever. See what sticks. Do that again, and and come at it with all angles. And guess what that takes time? Yeah, I don't have, hey, I'm going to stop your kids from running out the door and around the block in two weeks. Why can't I do it in two weeks? Well, because he's done this now for a whole year. And it's been reinforced one way or the other, and is serving a function of behaviors. So to to uninduced, I would rather people think of my job as unraveling rather than I'm on I'm unraveling stuff, and giving, giving you more strings. That's all.
Unknown Speaker 31:51
Okay, I like that.
Unknown Speaker 31:53
All that is because honestly, like that that string is still there. Yes, he may get to the end of it at at a point and do the same thing. Right? Maybe it seems like we're back to square one. But we're not. Not going to take us as long. Get back to where we were. I think that's the goal of, you know, trying to, to work on these skills is that yes, we, we all go through default. But once we hit default, what what kind of skills? Do we have to get back to that? Right? We all have that or whatever that is a vacation or a spa day? Or? I don't know, but
Unknown Speaker 32:45
hanging out with your girlfriends be like, hey, hey, girl, what's up? I need a I need a happy hour or something? Yes, don't like something you can go to. So that's good. Because everyone, I like that the everyone's gonna get to their point everybody does as adults, and it's easier for neurotypical kids to be like, Okay, these are the things I can do. But teaching our kids who have disabilities, that, that you will hit a default, you will hit this. But once you do, these are the things that you can do and teaching that explicitly. Like you said, we were talking about that earlier. With Joe, and I was like, yeah, he just needs to continue to be taught that skill. At its simplest level for him right now he's in first grade, like this is black, and this is white. And if you hit this, and you can do this, and it can't be too many steps. And so then once I know, when I get frustrated at school, we have to say to every morning, that's what we started doing. And we just started with one you can take deep breath, we're up to three, three choices that he can make now that he's actually able to do well repeat to his teacher, but now he's actually doing some of the but you know, that's what works for him. It was easier for us to connect, because so now he'll be like I did, I did get frustrated at school. But I took a deep breath. And I went to my he has a section where he can go to focus on his work better in the classroom is like and I went to my spot, and it was better. And I was like, like this just happened. I know, right? The beginning of the year, what downs up under the table, and then he would be up under the table. And then it was like taking off your shoes. Or he would start to be like anything, I'm cold. But he wasn't cold. It was August. It was hot. It was just a lot of things because he didn't have those things. And we didn't know what that looked like for him because he hadn't been in costume because the pandemic so we had to work stuff out and I was like, well try this and the teacher was like, try this and we're like, that didn't work. That escalated. Okay, so let's see what's, you know, you know, all the steps that you're doing with parents and it just takes a little Like Me through lizard like, that does not work. Let's try this. Okay, this, okay, let's throw that out and put this there's a lot of a lot of trial and error and then sometimes just wounds we just had his annual and it just was like when he came home and told me that I just cuz he hadn't before and I was just like, okay, yes, it's August and
Unknown Speaker 35:28
it's fighting to see someone that works so hard on in the child has worked so hard and then they put it into practice and you're just like yes, yes, it's
Unknown Speaker 35:46
in the classroom with his friends, the kids in the classroom. They're used to it now but at first they were like what is going
Unknown Speaker 35:57
it's a whole different layer. Because I feel like it's even harder layer when you know they're in a gen ed classroom because the teacher may or may not have explained this to the rest of the kids the kids may or may not have an idea of why he does this or when he does this or what can I do. It's a whole thing but the expectations are definitely different. And I feel like for our kiddos that a lot of these things have to be taught explicitly. It's just a step
Unknown Speaker 36:37
Yeah, listen steps in a different different settings like we literally had to practice and when I got into the practice of and learned actually from our early early intervention is years ago is talking out even when I'm doing something like so he can hear and see how I process getting the cereal out of the pantry. So so now that looks like at home. She was like we talked to them. I know a lot of love a lot of stuff. But I'm trying to tell the parents because I get this a lot like yeah, IP coach, girl Stop you have your you have this in the classroom, but it's different at home when it's all right for kids. Sometimes I'm tired at home, I just don't I don't want to talk through to be honest. Every part of my day so that he can get it I know that sounds terrible, but you know, I love my butt. And so but practice and choose what you're going to do so you're not feeling like you still want to be their parents. You don't want to be always be like, I'm always just doing this. So for breakfast and I be like, Okay, I'm so I'm hungry. I think I want to go to the pantry to see if there's any snacks that I might like. And then you know, so that even though he's not I'm not taking them with me. I'm just walking through my day because that is what you say, right? If you're sitting there, you're like, dude, I'm thirsty. I'm gonna go to the refrigerator. I'm gonna browse and see what I want. Oh, dang, there's no more Mountain Dew. Okay, I guess I have fruit punch. Do I want ice? Yeah, I want the crunchy ice. Those are the things that we think in our heads. But for our kids, modeling it and be like, Okay, I'm thirsty. So the next time when he's thirsty, so he might just he started out just open their frigerator and just looking at it. And we're like, the first drink was like, closer. frigerator Yeah, the frigerator was
Unknown Speaker 38:41
like he's still do that.
Unknown Speaker 38:47
Like, that's how he started. He's just doing what he sees all of us doing and we're all just talking it out. So yeah, lots of lots of modeling and just the things that you feel like come easy to you like when you're hungry, you just go downstairs but what is the process that you are going through, to get there is to get your Mountain Dew to get your crunchy ice and to sit back on thing is things that they need to be able to see and hear constantly. Constantly and yeah,
Unknown Speaker 39:21
it's very right. We do also a lot of role playing to which my client loves because I'm usually the brother that you know, he gets to whatever but that helps a lot to like, all pretend I'm so and so in your zone. So so I'm gonna I'm gonna say hey, like, No, you can't fight in front of me in line or you know, whatever the situation is, and then reverse it. Right? Have him roleplay how he would react and then we do that a lot. And that gives him the tools because it's In fact, I am modeling but it's approach. And he can, you know, he can show me what the language looks like. And honestly, that's the same language he uses. Like, that's good. It's a script that is comfortable because we've talked about it. So like, it's only a little deal. It's okay, we can go on to something else. And that's, you know, that's his phrase that his his catchphrase, like, I can ask for a delayed but if mom says, No, I still have to do it. Yep. Yeah. Hey, it works. Yeah. Yeah. Those scripts are you know what, what you want them to be you know, it, it does the trick. So
Unknown Speaker 40:46
I love to watch you talk about your client because you just cheese in from ear to ear every time you bring it up, you're just
Unknown Speaker 40:56
how can you not I spend so much time with him day after day after day. And I have been so lucky to see like the progress. I haven't even been with him a year yet. It'll be a year in April. Oh, my goodness, the progress he's made. And sometimes I'll say, hey, remember when I first started coming, and I bring like a bunch of sensory things. And you know, him and his brother would both want to do it. And I have to set the timer because they didn't know how to wait. I'm like, remember, when you kind of wait, remember that he's like, I understood that. It's exciting. It really is. Well, I like that.
Unknown Speaker 41:40
And I can see that. And hopefully when they they can hear or see the going back to like just building a relationship, it's clear that you guys have done that, in that relationships. When you have a therapist coming to your home takes time, and communication. And or it's vulnerable on both sides, because you're going in, and their appearance like wanting you to fix it. Right? That's got to be like feel like pressure to be like, Ah, so just, you know, not showing up to the first date in a wedding dress. I heard that somewhere. So you're not gonna just be like, and everything works out. It's gonna be it's gonna take time to develop, it takes time to develop relationships. Yeah. And also for the parents listening not to we have someone coming in to help you not letting your guards down. And I know it's hard trust me because I had early intervention in my house, and I was like, they normally don't go, excuse me, let me go upstairs. I'm going upstairs. It's distracting him come back down, sir. Hey, yeah, no, no, boy, whoa. So just being like, this is how it is.
Unknown Speaker 43:04
They are fine for that to happen. Right?
Unknown Speaker 43:08
And just be like, this is how this is. Knowing that they want to see it, you have to be able to see it to help intervene. And it is a process. And it's not just going to be the wedding day.
Unknown Speaker 43:24
Exactly. ever be the wedding day? You know, depending on what we're working on. But, but yeah, it takes it, it really does. And it takes those those awkward moments where you've got a conflict. I'm lucky because I have such good support. I've got my team behind me, I've got a supervisor, I'm not a BCBA on top of that. So I have the full support of a team when I maybe can't see the forest through the tree. Or parent doesn't feel comfortable with me. Explaining or asking or whatever. There, there's a layer there. And so it, you know, ultimately, I'm the one there delivering the service, but there's also layer upon layer, and situations arise then, you know, a team can address those and a team can work on the other thing is that, you know, in my company, I can't speak for other companies, but my company does have parent training, and therefore parent has goals too. So you know, I'm taking data on all of my goals and running them throughout the session. In turn, the parents have their own goals. So I don't get involved with that. That's not my, okay. But the supervisors, the BCBAs, they, they will do the parent training, they will intervene. Sometimes they might intervene with the school, with the teacher with the services being administered or not being administered in a school, so we can build on those to see what's going on there, too. Again, I'm strictly delivering the service in the home. So, you know, that the parents have, they have resources there, they have a layer of people that, you know, can, you know, address their concerns? Whatever that is. So,
Unknown Speaker 45:48
yeah, having a team is important. It really. Yeah, cuz you don't always you always see it. Sometimes you need someone to be like, Oh, you actually it is making progress. And even that you had, like you said, as a therapist, you're like, This is it. This isn't working. And someone can look at the data and be like, actually, it is. And they can bring you back, just like you were saying, with your remember, we have to use the client. They're like, No, you're like, yes. And so having someone look at what you're doing to and be like, well, you are taking it is working. Remember when you first started, you're like, oh, yeah, even if it's little, little increments,
Unknown Speaker 46:27
indeed. And they can they can also looking, you know, I have a tendency to prompt a lot. That's just in my nature. It's what, you know, years of working with severely impacted students. And somebody can look and go, yeah, no, you, you need to be prompting, let him do it, let him get a little bit uncomfortable, a little bit frustrated, because, to be honest, working with somebody four hours a day, five days a week, for that long you get used to what they're going to do. Can you automatically just like a parent interrupted, and go, oh, there's a meltdown? So I'm gonna give him an option? No, is his goal to figure out the option? He's already practiced it? So?
Unknown Speaker 47:16
Yeah, that's good. Yep, maybe that guy just, I'm just gonna give them materials because I have to get to the game. And then this meltdown is going to take us back. And I started out, so you just do default back to it, it doesn't happen. And you know what, parents when that does happen, because it will, because you got to get out the door, you got to do something, you're just tired. It's okay. Because tomorrow's another day and you can work on that, or your therapist give you skills like okay, well, what happens when I do reinforce it. But I didn't mean to, though, you're not gonna be perfect. Sometimes happens, you just, I think going back to the skills even for the parents going back and saying, you know, going back and having the skills to be like, Okay, this is going to happen, sometimes you won't give them materials, you're tired, you're not feeling well, you got to get out the door. Things happen. Don't be so hard on yourself, either be be more fluid and be like, I did give them materials other day. But tomorrow, you know, I'm going to, you know, maybe 20 minutes before I remember Julie said, you know, maybe if we have no, we have to get out the door before and I know he's gonna want the Cheerios, maybe there's a practice that can happen 30 minutes before so that we have more of a buffer time, there's always time to reflect and to get back on track.
Unknown Speaker 48:37
Right? And you know, what? markeesha? To be honest, I don't know when you said it, or in what post but one time somewhere, you said it's not worth it. For him to be dysregulated for the rest of the day. That stuck with me, because so often we get in the groove of like, I'm going to push and push and push. And at some point, that doesn't make any sense anymore. It does not. And sometimes it's our agenda. Sometimes it's whatever, it doesn't matter. But I I live by that now. Because there there is definitely a time to push and it's time to let's see what happens when and there's a time to back off and say, yeah, it's not gonna happen today. Okay, because it's not worth it for the rest of the day to be in depending on how hard is it for the child to become regulated, again, less, that they're all not at the same level. So that was important. That's nuts. really important piece.
Unknown Speaker 50:01
Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, that was it. That was on Joe going to cool. Sunday's was like, You know what? He was home yesterday. And we have IEP, so he got to peep peep in like, we were doing zoom. And they're like, is he feeling this? Like they thought he was sick or something? It was. It's the video. So I was like, no, he's just was rough morning. And we just thought that Netflix was gonna work out better today, then to force it and then he's gonna you gonna have to deal with it at school, which some days we just do push through. But you know what that was? And yesterday wasn't that day. It's, uh, you know, it's okay. He missed his therapies for yesterday. It's cool. And a couple other things, but it's okay. And today was, you know, a better day. So that is something that I learned along the way. Well, all your time on Friday. Because you guys would you don't know that. She was on time. And then I start chit chatting. Joe, we just talked so this hour that I bogged up, I was already hugging, forget 45 minutes before just chit chatting. It was fun working together. And I know that we get to still connect and yeah, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 51:21
Fan, you guys. I'm the friend that I'm like, I'm preaching on her site. You know,
Unknown Speaker 51:33
she has the truth bombs.
Unknown Speaker 51:37
You know what, I guess when you're so passionate about something, and you? It just It doesn't stop when I put down my soft software data, right. Right.
Unknown Speaker 51:54
Now, you know, I know that's why we can probably be on here for another but the whole day. Just keep on talking about talking about this. We do. I do love this work. And now that now I have my baby who knew right?
Unknown Speaker 52:13
years ago.
Unknown Speaker 52:15
Yeah. I just had the tone back when I was in the classroom, but I'm very grateful to have had those experiences and well, it's anything you want to say to the people listening before we head head off into our Friday.
Unknown Speaker 52:37
I think I've said that and more you guys are doing great though. Can I just put that out there because what wherever you're at right now. I literally have so much respect for the parents that do this day in and day out and and try with all their hearts to do what's best for their kid because really any parent anywhere. That's what we all want. Right? Is the day and and I really I really respect you guys like you're doing great even if it doesn't feel like it even if some days feel like a dumpster fire. still great.
Unknown Speaker 53:30
See? Somebody needs to hear that today, Julie. Oh, I hope so. I told you guys should be she should just be dropping the nuggets.
Unknown Speaker 53:39
Thank you so much again and thank you guys all for listening. And this is going to be the end of our broadcast for today.
Unknown Speaker 53:48
Happy weekend. All Yes.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
